12. October 2018
Work , Humor
A friend of mine recently sent me the following video from Weird Al Yankovic, who is one of my favorite geek heroes.
As someone who has worked in the business world for the past few decades, I have to admit: the corporate-speak in that video is much pretty spot-on for some division-level meetings that I’ve attended.
That being said, Weird Al's song reminds me of my days in a cross-site technical support team that I helped create at Microsoft, which was supposed to be an amalgamation of two commonly-used technical support roles of beta engineers and escalation engineers. However, the role of that team quickly spiraled out of control into something that was totally unrecognizable from what I had proposed. Our team was renamed by a corporate president as “Delta Force,” and despite the fact that everyone hated the name, we were stuck with it – because it came from a corporate president.
Getting back to the original point, I knew this team was screwed when Microsoft flew all of the team members to Redmond for a week when we were first starting out. The goals for the week were supposed to be creating the hierarchy and infrastructure that were required to organize and manage a large cross-site team, but we were bogged down for the first 1.5 days creating – seriously – our Mission Statement. It didn’t matter how many times I pointed out that we could be using our time and Microsoft’s resources considerably more efficiently if we tabled that discussion; I kept getting shot down by management, who continuously emphasized just how important a Mission Statement really is.
At some point during that week I marched into my new boss’s office and told him (in no uncertain terms) that I wanted off that team as soon as possible. (Although he begged me to stay, and I did – for 1.5 years. And I hated almost every minute of it.)
With that in mind, the video from Weird Al was a fun [sic] reminder of that time.
1. April 2018
Humor , Work
A friend of mine posted the following image to social media… and as someone who has had to attend more than a few soul-crushing phone conferences, I thought it was hilarious.
That being said, I thought this play set was missing a few things that would add to its realism.
For example, why doesn't it come with a whiteboard and four dried-out markers?
In addition, the conference phone should come with dozens of lifelike features, such as Dropped Calls, Random Static, Open Microphone Keyboard Typing, Private Background Conversations, and 15 minutes of 'Can You Hear Me?' dialog. This would turn your kids' 5-minute meeting into hours of troubleshooting entertainment - every time!
3. November 2015
Humor , Work
Some people I know should read this... not that I'm naming any names, of course.
21. July 2014
Work , Technology , Humor
Earlier today our organization participated in a unique "Team Building" exercise: our organization hosted a Drum Circle, wherein a motivational speaker walked various members of our organization through a set of various polyrhythms with the intended goal of creating music as a "team." The idea seems plausible enough on paper, and I am fairly certain that if I was participating in-person I might have received something of value from the experience.
However, I work remotely, as do several dozen of my coworkers. Instead of hearing music and a motivational speaker, those of us who could not attend in-person heard nothing but noise. Lots and lots of noise. The entire experience was reduced to hours of mind-numbing cacophony for anyone attending the meeting via the conference call, and my only takeaway was that I had lost several hours of my life.
Shortly after the meeting had ended I put together the following animation to show my coworkers what the meeting was like for remote attendees:
|Attending a Drum Circle Remotely. |
With that in mind, please take my advice: take a look at https://binged.it/2s4KbLd for companies who offer team building exercises such as this, and avoid them as much as possible if you value your remote employees.