Geeky Bob

Just a short, simple blog for Bob to share his thoughts.

Be sure to check out my technical blog at www.microsoftbob.com.

MonthList

Always Remember to Shave in the Army

I attended the USAREUR Air Assault School in 1988, and one of the cadets failed to shave one morning.

He was ordered to dry shave while standing on a stump that was placed in front of the entire class, and he was required to loudly lecture everyone on the merits of daily shaving, while the rest of the class stood at parade rest.

At one point, the following conversation took place:

"Roster Number 30!!! Are you bleeding???"

"Yes, Air Assault First Sergeant!!! Blood helps lubricate the blade!!!"

After which the guy's squad leader was order to kneel next to the stump and catch any blood in his cupped hands, lest any blood hit the ground and desecrate the surrounding area.

Posted: Jun 20 2019, 13:13 by Bob | Comments (0)
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Filed under: Military | Humor
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Vintage Aircraft Fly-by

I was driving down the road, and noticed that a B17 was flying past. I thought to myself, "Well, huh. You don't see that every day."

PS - My wife does not share my love of vintage aircraft; she saw this said, "Meh, looks like a plane."

Open-mouthed smile

Posted: Mar 10 2019, 21:45 by Bob | Comments (0)
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Filed under: Military
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The Ups and Downs of Illnesses

I've had a cold for a few days now, and as of last night I lost my voice. (My wife, Kathleen, thinks this is an improvement in our relationship.)

Fun fact: when my voice disappears, so does my ability to cough loudly, so I sound like a dog's squeaky toy whenever I have to cough. (It's amazing Kathleen isn't laughing harder at my expense.)

Open-mouthed smile

Posted: Feb 21 2019, 09:22 by Bob | Comments (0)
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Filed under: Health | Marriage
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Cow Chip Cookies on Valentine's Day

My wife special-ordered heart-shaped Cow Chip cookies for me for Valentine's Day. If you've lived in the Seattle area and you don't know about these cookies, then either a) you've been living under a rock, or b) you're dead.

Cow-Chip-Cookies

PS - They were great, and yes - I shared.

Posted: Feb 14 2019, 12:24 by Bob | Comments (0)
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Filed under: Marriage
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Tales of Christmas Past…

In ancient days of yore, constable Ioan McClane (of the clan McClane) routed the Visigoth Hans von Gruber from the prodigious citadel of Nakatomi...

Die-Hard-Medieval-Tapestry

Posted: Dec 24 2018, 10:00 by Bob | Comments (0)
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Filed under: Christmas | Humor
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Gaffes of the Galaxy

My wife was shopping for Guardians of the Galaxy toys to donate to charity, and the following conversation took place:

Kathleen: So, I was going to buy Star Lord, Groot, and Ranger.
Me: Ranger?
Kathleen: Yeah, you know - the squirrel.
Me: You mean Rocket? The raccoon?
Kathleen: Yeah, that's the one.
Me: o_O
Posted: Dec 01 2018, 19:02 by Bob | Comments (0)
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Filed under: Marriage | Humor | Christmas
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Mission Statements

A friend of mine recently sent me the following video from Weird Al Yankovic, who is one of my favorite geek heroes.

As someone who has worked in the business world for the past few decades, I have to admit: the corporate-speak in that video is much pretty spot-on for some division-level meetings that I’ve attended.

Open-mouthed smile

That being said, Weird Al's song reminds me of my days in a cross-site technical support team that I helped create at Microsoft, which was supposed to be an amalgamation of two commonly-used technical support roles of beta engineers and escalation engineers. However, the role of that team quickly spiraled out of control into something that was totally unrecognizable from what I had proposed. Our team was renamed by a corporate president as “Delta Force,” and despite the fact that everyone hated the name, we were stuck with it – because it came from a corporate president.

Getting back to the original point, I knew this team was screwed when Microsoft flew all of the team members to Redmond for a week when we were first starting out. The goals for the week were supposed to be creating the hierarchy and infrastructure that were required to organize and manage a large cross-site team, but we were bogged down for the first 1.5 days creating – seriously – our Mission Statement. It didn’t matter how many times I pointed out that we could be using our time and Microsoft’s resources considerably more efficiently if we tabled that discussion; I kept getting shot down by management, who continuously emphasized just how important a Mission Statement really is.

At some point during that week I marched into my new boss’s office and told him (in no uncertain terms) that I wanted off that team as soon as possible. (Although he begged me to stay, and I did – for 1.5 years. And I hated almost every minute of it.)

With that in mind, the video from Weird Al was a fun [sic] reminder of that time.

Posted: Oct 12 2018, 00:19 by Bob | Comments (0)
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Filed under: Work | Humor
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If You Think You're Having a Bad Day…

I just read this article, Pompeii victim crushed by boulder while fleeing eruption, which details a recent archeological discovery in Italy. The unfortunate soul in these photos from that article has to be one of the least-lucky people to have ever walked the face of the planet:

The Unluckiest Man in Pompeii

This doomed individual survived the initial eruption of Mount Vesuvius near Pompeii, only to have his head crushed by a rock during the subsequent eruption.

Sometimes, it's just not your day...

Posted: Jun 02 2018, 09:34 by Bob | Comments (0)
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Filed under: History | Humor
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Desert Riding Bokeh Videos

When you somehow manage to bump the camera button on your phone in its waterproof case during a desert ride and it creates an experimental bokeh-art film in your honor...

Posted: May 04 2018, 10:16 by Bob | Comments (0)
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Filed under: Bicycling | Humor | Art
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Soul-Crushing Meetings

A friend of mine posted the following image to social media… and as someone who has had to attend more than a few soul-crushing phone conferences, I thought it was hilarious.

Soul-Crushing-Meeting

That being said, I thought this play set was missing a few things that would add to its realism.

For example, why doesn't it come with a whiteboard and four dried-out markers?

In addition, the conference phone should come with dozens of lifelike features, such as Dropped Calls, Random Static, Open Microphone Keyboard Typing, Private Background Conversations, and 15 minutes of 'Can You Hear Me?' dialog. This would turn your kids' 5-minute meeting into hours of troubleshooting entertainment - every time!

Posted: Apr 01 2018, 09:41 by Bob | Comments (0)
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