The Story of the "Cones Of Death" Poster
11 July 2022 • by Bob • Military, Humor
At some point during my third year while stationed in Fulda, the 511th Military Intelligence Company received a new mechanic who was transferring from another unit in Germany. His previous unit had also been an MI unit, and the personnel at that unit had nicknamed their Electronic Warfare (EW) personnel "coneheads." This juvenile moniker alluded to an old Saturday Night Live skit (and movie) about an awkward set of aliens attempting to assimilate into society prior to invading the earth.
Much to the chagrin of most of my peers, the coneheads nickname spread like wildfire throughout the motor pool, and soon that infamous label was the only term that the mechanics used to refer to the members of the EW platoons. Of course, this type of name-calling humor was on par with a student in the first grade, and therefore it was perfectly suited to the intelligence level for the average motor pool mechanic.
Nevertheless, a few of my fellow EW colleagues were demonstrably upset by this new epithet, and they complained incessantly until I gave them a better idea to think about. I pointed out that during the American Revolutionary War, the song "Yankee Doodle" was meant to be an insult. However, the colonial soldiers embraced the title, thereby turning an insult into a badge of honor. I suggested that we do the same and embrace the "coneheads" nickname, though I suggested that we implement our acceptance with a bit of vengeful twist.
I was a big fan of Gary Larson's Far Side comics, and I recalled that one of Larson's cartoons featured two neanderthal mechanics fixing a wheel in pre-historic times. Once again, a neanderthal seemed to possess an intelligence that was on the same level as most of our mechanics, so the illustration seemed to fit our needs perfectly. What was even better, though, was that the primary caveman was named "Zog," which gave us the perfect retaliatory nickname for the motor pool jockeys.
I posted copies of the Far Side comic around the motor pool, and I kept spare copies on hand for when the mechanics tore them down. Nevertheless, the EW platoons henceforth only referred to the mechanics as "Zogs," which did not sit well with them. (Not that anyone in the EW platoons cared, of course.)
Thus was borne a friendly rivalry that existed for years, though both sides eventually embraced their disparaging titles. It is a never-ending source of amusement for me that the former mechanics from the 511th MI CO still refer to themselves as "Zogs," even though the former "Coneheads" eventually dropped their nickname.
However, the pièce de résistance from this war of words is that the Blackhorse Museum in Fulda, which is dedicated to preserving the history of the 11th ACR in Germany, has a wall display from a stencil that we created during our season of rivalry. The poster contains the title "Cones O' Death," with a picture of a conehead skull prominently displayed.
Posing with the Cones Of Death logo in 2019
Some of my former colleagues have insisted that I created this poster, though I'm 99% certain that I know who actually created it. Nevertheless, it has been more than 30 years and I do not recall for certain whether this is my actual handiwork, but this is the sort of thing that I would have done at the time, and it is an indisputable fact that the driving force behind the adoption of "coneheads" as our unofficial badge of honor was me.
UPDATE: This post is one of several that I had written that I later discovered had never been set to "public."
Tags: Military, Humor, 511th-MI-Company