28. November 2016
Campaigning , Politics
Remember how I was running for President?
Well, it turns out that I would have won both the electoral college in a landslide AND the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who didn't actually vote for me.
30. September 2016
In an effort to quell the rumors, I have to be honest; I did run a private email server in my basement...
But it's okay, I deleted all the emails when I was done with it.
28. September 2016
I have decided to run for President...
On day 1 of my campaign - I promise to institute mandatory siestas every afternoon.
My new campaign slogan: "Make America Snooze Again."
Alternate campaign slogan: "A Tired Man for Tiring Times..."